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MANHATTAN, NEW YORK – A shipment of pink phallic balloons delivered to a daycare center on Manhattan’s East Side on Friday is now under investigation as a terrorist activity. The balloons, delivered fully inflated and in boxes postmarked from the Texas territory, were delivered to the Ira Evan Levine Preschool. “Our teachers took the balloons…
MIAMI, FLORIDA – A cargo freighter hauling toxic fuel for interplanetary ships making the transit from the Solar Consortium Yards to Luna and Mars crash landed in the Everglades this afternoon shortly after launch from Cape Canaveral. It’s unclear how the accident happened, but the pilot – although badly wounded – survived the wreck and…
On Tuesday, July 15, 7 p.m. Eastern, we’ll have a reboot event in Cape Canaveral involving a contagion breach.
BILOXI, MISSISSIPPI – Andy Sparling wanted to get his fiancee, Emma Jean Doritt, just the right wedding present. So he planted a flag on the verge of a swamp in eastern Texas and claimed it in the name of a new Consortium protectorate he calls Outer Sparlington. “We’re going to settle there, build a little…
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