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Kethren’s PDA goes: BEEP. Incoming message, apparently.
Kethren shifts around a bit on his bar stool, fishing out his pda to set on the bar and see what sort of message there may be. Nuala spends the time glaring up at him. It’s a rather annoying beep, apparently.
It appears to be a message from “The Royal Perpetuity Probate Finance Minister’s Office” on the Rigor Strand colony world of Peshta.
Kethren raises an eyebrow at the listed sender and presses the appropriate spot to start playback of the message.
Message begins, text only: “SALUTATIONS. I CONTACT YOU ON BEHALF OF THE ESTATE OF THE LATE ODOOLU VANAPATALUM, WHOSE FINAL WILL AND TESTAMENT IDENTIFIED YOU AS THE SOLE BENEFICIARY OF HIS ISLAND ESTATE HOLDINGS, VALUED AT NO LESS THAN 275 BILLION HEKAYTI CREDITS. TO BEGIN THE PROBATE RECONCILIATION PROCESS, I SEEK VITAL INFORMATION FROM YOU REGARDING CERTAIN DATA, SUCH AS AN OFFICIAL IDENTIFICATION CARD NUMBER AND BANK ACCOUNT WITH ACCESS AUTHORIZATION. I EAGERLY AWAIT WORD FROM YOU TO BEGIN SETTLEMENT FORTHWITH. YOURS, ABALANDI WALAFUMATARLY, FINANCE MINISTER, PESHTA.”
Kethren waves over the bar wench “Could you get me a whisky, please? Thanks, much….” And he shakes his head a bit at the message, and hits the SPAM button as he sighs “I swear, you’d think hopping universes would keep Nigerian royalty from finding me.”
Again, the PDA beeps.
Kethren nods with a faint smile as the bar wench drops off a glass and bottle of whisky. With a bit of a sigh, he taps the PDA to see what the message is while he pours a glass.
Another entry from the Peshta Finance Minister. Text only: “SO, YOU DON’T WANT A PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL ISLAND ESTATE VALUED AT 275 BILLION HEKAYTI CREDITS?”
Kethren rolls his eyes as he hits the SPAM button again. “I find it fascinating that the Nigerian royal family has apparently purchased a fleet of rift drives, and yet still has money and prizes to give it out to hapless passersby.”
BEEP. The PDA. Again.
Nuala growls a bit. Seems she really doesn’t like that particular PDA beep. “Sorry, girl. I’ll see about changing that in the morning.” Then looking at the PDA, he rolls his eyes as he hits the button to pull up the latest vitally important message.
Once more, it is the Peshta Finance Minister. Text only: “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING. THE ESTATE HAS MANY ROOMS. THE ISLAND HAS MANY TREES. AND A LONG BEACH. WITH REAL SAND. AND RARELY ANY LAVA.”
Kethren takes a long sip of whisky “Okay… cleraly the spam button’s not working. Let’s try a different tack.” Putting the whisky down he taps something to record a reply “I do appreciate the offer, but I must ask, how exactly did I come to the attention of this Odoolu chap? I’m not native to this universe, so I really don’t expect any inheritences.”
BEEP.
Kethren hits the rapidly wearing out button with a weary sigh.
Yes, indeed. Another message from Peshta. Text only: “WAIT. SOMEONE’S ACTUALLY THERE? EXCELLENT. ALERT THE AUTHORITIES! I’VE BEEN…” Message cuts off.
Kethren smirks and takes another sip of whisky “I think I broke him.”
BeeeEEP.
After taking a moment to down the rest of his drink, he reaches over and once more taps the button to pull up the latest message.
The message is from Peshta, as expected. But, different. Somehow: “This is Apodine’s father. She knows better. She was already grounded for computer scams at her academy. You won’t be hearing from her again. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
Kethren chuckles and starts to record a reply “Quite alright. Reminded me of my old home, really. Wasn’t any more believable here, either.”
No more BEEP.