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All I Wanted was a Fake Mustache

Summary: Seryn joins Dement on board the Teamhair so they can continue to work on a solution to the horses infected with AHS.

Cast: Dement, Seryn, Sadie

Air Date: 6th March, 2654 CE

Setting: Lab - Teamhair

This area of the ship was once living quarters and elements of that are still visible, the bed, cupboards and some of the kitchen equipment is still all here. Of course, the bed now folds over into a workstation, the cupboards are full of electronics and laboratory equipment and whatever kitchen utensils there were have now been replaced with tools of scientific discovery. Where once there was an oven, there is now a gene sequencer, where once there was a hob, there is now a chemical vat, where once there was a fridge… well… there is a fridge, but it’s likely full up with samples and other science mumbo.

Contents: Exits:

Seryn is just arriving, this time in a lab coat and with packages under her arms and one in her hands. She is headed right for the ship

Guess who’s on board? Dement is stood inside the converted living space, fiddling with the controls for a 3d printer.

Seryn heads up the ramp and peeks inside with a “Ello? I have the lenses and the samples. The labs were done with them at last.” She sees Dement fiddling and heads over to see if she can help, “Would ye like me ta take a look?”

“No, it’s fine.” Dement murmurs sideways, “It’s just struggling with a bug that crops up if a vector is too complicated. All I wanted to make was a fake moustache.”

Seryn looks entirely amused by the concept and nods, “Aye, well then I have our items from the labs at the hospital. Did ye and Doc Frtiz have a chance ta go over those papers?”

“We’d both looked them over already, the hospital passed them on over the net.” Dement chuckles, “You headed off so quickly yesterday we didn’t get a chance to tell you. Not exactly good news… Still, with the preliminary data I think I can produce a monovalent vaccine for any horses on the island owned by other refugees. I gather there is a large number of men and women who rifted through from… Fastheld, was it? A medieval culture. Quite fascinating.”

Seryn sighs and wilts a little, “They didna tell me they sent it over already tha bastards. Ah well, and aye, I think it is Fastheld or some such. I had also put in my own notes into the batch that I gave ye both last night. Those I can send over via the net if ye like and if that would be easier. Can I see yer notes on the monovalent vaccine? Mayhap we can work together on it?”

“On the computer, there.” Dement points to one of the consoles hanging out of the wall. The lab is a mess, really, with most of the consoles and equipment obviously salvaged from other ships. It’s a high-tech mess, however, as a lot of equipment would be considered far advanced compared to the current standard in Hiverspace. “Speeder, bring up my notes.”

“Okay, Dee.” Comes a familiar voice, from the on-board speakers.


Seryn pads over to the hightech mess and takes a moment to hold up the insulated box, “Where would ye like the samples, we don’ really want em gettin warm.”

“Oh, of course.” Dement looks back up from his 3D printer and walks over, holding a hand out to take the package himself.

Seryn places the package into Dement’s hand then her attention is fixated on the notes, as the samples are taken care of. She nods or thinks or takes her own notes as she reads Dement’s.

Dement moves over to one of the cooling machines, placing the package inside next to a collection of isolated samples in test tubes. “So, Seryn…” he asks, closing the door.

Seryn pauses her reading of notes and note taking to glance over, “Hmm?” she glances back down to check what she has written to be sure it is correct, “What can I do for ye?”

“What do you do for fun?” Dement asks, sheepishly, as he moves over to one of the active chemical sequencing machines to check it’s progress.

Seryn ponders the question as she makes a few corrections on her notes, “I like ta read and enjoy goin out ta dance when given the opportunity and a good venue. Goin’ ta a good concert, and playin tha fiddle now an then when I have time, which I havena done in over a decade unfortunately. Yourself?”

“I can… travel a lot.” Dement replies, turning off one of the glass chemical vats and putting on a glove so he can remove the sample, “I play hologames… a lot… I like to cook, too.”

Seryn looks over with big eyes, “Ye cook?” you can almost see her heart in her eyes, “A man who cooks, wonderful! And for fun too?” She sighs happily. “Travel is a great deal of fun as well, I havena played games in a long while, I should try it sometime.” she says the last more to herself as she makes a few more notations to her notes and reads a bit more.

With that, Dement’s features flush a little red and he keeps himself looking forward, away from Seryn, as he gently lowers the tube into a long tray. “…yeah, I don’t cook as much when it’s just me.” He offers, when he’s done and taking the glove off.

Seryn looks over with a hopeful look, “I would love ta try yer cookin’ if ye wouldn’t mind o’ course. I will even do the dishes and bring a nice bottle o’ wine or whiskey if ye prefer but wine tends ta go better with nice meals, whiskey is for after a good rollickin’ dance.”

“…okay.” Dement manages a smile, giddily hopping across to one of the lab’s storage hatches, opening it and pulling out a bottle of red wine, placing it on the table. He reaches in for another, and another. “I’ve been picking these up whenever I see them. Not many grapes, this side of a rift.” And another. “It should be in he- ah.” Carefully, he withdraws the bottle that was laid down in the back, it’s evidently more valued than the others. He smiles to himself and puts it back in a conspiratorial manner. “Perhaps I should save it.”

Seryn perks up in curiosity, “Oh?” she pads over to peek around Dement’s shoulder in curiosity, “Mayhap I should take up looking into producing a wine grape an’ growing it on one of the worlds around here.” She keeps peeking trying to see this special bottle, “What kind o’ wine is this then?” Curiosity in her voice and expression.

“Nope.” Dement murmurs, “You said you’d bring the wine, it’s only fair.” he puts the other bottles back as quickly as he can and closes the panel, turning around and crossing his arms. “I think a vine would do really well on Eiru.” he admits, after a moment of thought, “Lots of sun, and I imagine the soil is pretty good.”

Seryn tries to peek like an overly curious child then pouts when the door closes without her seeing. She then grins and nods, “Oh aye, I shall bring the wine, and I think ye are right, especially with the sandy soil. I just can’t get near the plants themselves. Plants don’ like me ye see. So while I can develop the strain of crop an eventually fund the production, I canna grow them myself. I tried to care for a geranium, followed care instructions an it died within the our o’ me purchasin’ it.” pout is back, “Fauna doesn’a mind me but flora sure as hell do.”

“Within the hour?” Dement repeats, raising an eyebrow.

“Aye, I never did well with plants an that just hammered it home to me. They are disagreeable things.” Seryn grumps, “So I shall allow them their space an they shall allow me mine an we shall all be merry.” She doesn’t sound overly merry about that actually. “An I like plants,” she says with that same pout.

“Maybe you’re radioactive.” Dement offers, with a helpful grin, standing in place for fear of prompting Seryn to move.

Seryn doesn’t seem inclined to move and grins, “Mayhap that is the problem, I hadna though o’ that really.” She chuckles, “An here I was always thinkin’ that it was cause they just didna like me. Though I have some ideas on what variations of grape might work well on Pyracan’s soil. I know there is tha vineyard here already, I dunna know who own’s it though.”

“Start up?” Dement considers that, “I wonder how long ago they started, two years is a really young vine…” He squirms a little, trapped against the corner panelling. “You, uh, want to see the latest chemical sample?”

Seryn nods happily and realizes she is in the way, moving aside with an embarrassed, “Oh sorry.” she gets ready to follow Dement to the samples.

And so Dement leads back to the test tube he removed, tapping the table it’s resting on. “I’ve been comparing the AHS to other members of the Orbivirus species on record. Specifically, I have a lot of data on something called the bluetongue virus, including a partial cure developed in 2016. I think it might hold some clues for developing out own.”

Sadie overhears Dement as she is waking up and pops her eyes open. “A cure?” She stands up quickly and trots over to him, “Did you say there was a cure for another disease? Is it similar?”

Seryn is in Dement’s ship with him and looking at a sample, “Oh aye? I think I read a bit about that in yer notes.” She looks at the sample and nods, “Have ye done tests ta compare that sample ta the beastie we have in yonder critters?” She smiles up at Sadie as the other woman’s voice floats in, “Doctor Dement here seems on a good track towards it, a good day to ye Doc Sadie.”

“Doing that now,” Dement nods, waving in the direction of the chemical processor he removed the sample from, “If I had better equipment, I could synthesise either and work from there, but this stuff…” he gives one of the cabinets a light kick and it rattles, “Bits and pieces. Nothing like my old ship.”

On the other side of the lab, the 3D printer cranks up and starts constructing something. “Fixed it.” Speeder declares, in triumph. “Told you I could, didn’t I? Doesn’t this mean I win the bet?”

Sadie nods her head sleepily at the two as she walks in slowly, looking around. She smiles, “Good day to you too!”

Seryn nods as she listens to Dement and looks thoughtful, “Hmm, I can try using some o’ the hospital’s equipment as well, if there is anythin’ that you think theirs might do faster, the only problem bein that it is communal equipment so gettin time on it is a pain.” She looks amused at Speeder then to Dement, “Bet?” She waves Sadie in, “Come an join tha science party.”

“That and it isn’t from the right time period..” Dement murmurs sourly upon hearing Speeders boast, “Yes. Yes it does.” He looks across to Seryn and sighs, “I told him if he could fix the software bug before I got it working, I’d do a dare. His ide-”

“I’m going to make him wear a fake moustache.” Speeder pipes up, interrupting Dement. “And I know exactly when – on your date.”


Though it dawned on Dement where Speeder was angling at, he doesn’t manage to shut off the internal comms before Speeder’s already making smoochy-moany noises. His expression dies, hand on the off-switch, and his yellow eyes can’t figure out if they’re narrowing in anger or embarrassed pain.

Sadie bites her lip, stifling a giggle at Speeder – who is of course, dead to the world now. After regaining her composure, she walks closer to Dement and Seryn, smiling. “So what are we working on?”

Seryn blinks in surprise then smiles in amusement at Speeder’s inert form, “Oh dear.” clearing her throat she answers Sadie, “We are tryin’ ta compare a potentially similar virus ta see if half the work hasna already been done for us. If so then that will speed the process along wonderfully.” She indicates the machine Dement is standing near, “Dement has done a wonderful job already of beginning the process.”

“Dement is going to go… talk to his cabin crew.” he murmurs, treading forward into the ships cockpit.

Sadie nods to Seryn, smiling. “Well, let’s see what we can do. I’m glad that y’all have been working so hard!” She grins. “Thank you so much for all of your help.”

Seryn looks a bit concerned at Dement but nods, “Oh Dement has done a good deal o’ the work thus far. Most of what I have done was use the lab facilities at the hospital to prepare the samples for the testing and work through ordering the tests and gettin’ a bit o’ equipment for Dement. He is the one who has discovered potential correlations, come look at these notes, they are insightful.” Now Seryn is practically vibrating with excitement as she points to the notes.

And so, Dement is out of the way for the moment. A raised voice is barely heard, through the hatch.

Sadie giggles at Seryn’s excitement as she moves closer to look at the notes, “Oh wow! These are something!” She mumbles to herself as she reads the notes, smiling and mirroring Seryn’s excitement.

Seryn is lost in SCIENCE! she starts nattering away to Sadie about the possibilities for the vaccine and how it is possible that the virus might be binding to specific allies and that being why the warts are where they are.

Sadie nods at Seryn’s explanations and hypothesis for the virus as she smiles. “Mhm” is all the words that come from her mouth as she looks deep in thought.

Dement appears a few moments later and moves across to the chemical machines without saying a word.

Seryn waves Dement over and points, “What was the compound you used here? I haven’t heard of it before.”

Dement walks over and, caught in a science-based trance, talks shop with Seryn.

Seryn is just as caught in the sciencey goodness as Dement and this goes on for some time using big words and chemical speak and lots of bio-chemical phrases that all mean something incomprehensible for the average bloke.

And so, they get back to work.