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Var is ze hot, hot ladies?

Summary: Dement and Fritz appear on Eiru in the middle of a pub crawl. They visit the Bull and Hawk and attempt to make trouble.

Cast: Dement, Fritz, Tei, Jennifer, Maina, Logic Shortage, Heidi, Sharai

Air Date: January 18th, 2654

Setting: Downtown – Eiru, Pyracan

Consisting of four main streets with a combination goverment/law enforcement building in the center, building here has begun to fill in, and is pleasantly landscaped with a great view of the teal sea. Save for the aforementioned government/law enforcement building, a sanitation facility, and a desalination facility, the Outversers have been left to their own devices in creating infrastructure. Fused sand pathways lead west towards the western edge of town and the beach beyond, and east towards the settlement’s docks and landing pad.

Contents: Exits:
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Tei eeps and jumps in startlement and looks at Jennifer with wide eyes, “Oh, oh dear. Yes, it seems that some of our construction equipment isn’t working properly and none of the workers know what to do.” Jenn and Tei are standing near the Bull and Hawk tavern.

A small man in an intense spandex costume stumbles down the road, in front of cars and pedestrians alike with little regard for direction or safety. Even still, the tavern seems to be drawing him forward through some invisible thread. “Icccchhhh bin der grosssht!” he declares, bumping into a parked hovervan. “Oh, esxcuse me. I didn’t sie sehen, da? Bin in wissenschaftler, wissen. EH! WO BIST DU? Frut.. frap.. frit..?”

Jennifer nods nods, “Well… I don’t mean to brag, but I can fix just about damn near anything, or at least jury rig it to where you can’t tell it wasn’t a proper fix.” She says, trying her best to sell her self, and then see the spandex man through the street… “Thats a sight you don’t often see.”

With Dement and occupying the same drunken demeanor as him, Fritz towers over the small man, hands coming up to make some passing attempt at steadying his companion, “Seien sei vorsichtig!” Declares the biologist, coat and vest left at the hotel where he’s staying, doves fluttering along behind him, their usual perch a bit too tipsy to be steady enough for their liking. He squints, peering off past his glasses into the distance for a moment, “Vi are much in need of more beer, ja?”

Tei looks at Jenn like she is a god-send and grabs the woman’s ar,, if Jenn will let her, to drag her off to the construction site, “I will pay you to fix my machines, if you do a good job then I will offer you continuous work.” she says quickly as she tries to lead the woman off in a hurry.

Tei heads into Eastern Settlement.

Jennifer heads into Eastern Settlement.

“Ya bitte.” Dement agrees, pushing away from the van and pointing at the tavern, “De Bull und Hawk, real mead!” he laughs and takes one of Fritz’s shoulders, “And music!” he declares, “Sollten wir singen!”

Fritz Von Wulfenbach claps Dee amicably upon his shoulder, “Echte met? Wunderschonen!” Arm becoming slung over the other, smaller man’s in a brotherly fashion, Fritz leads them on towards the tavern, free hand beginning to conduct an imaginary band as he begins the humming start to a drinking song, feet stamping to keep the marching beat.


Bull and Hawk Tavern – Eiru, Pyracan

The large first floor of is home of the Bull and Hawk Tavern, built entirely of dark woods. Walls have been paneled in the same wood as the bar, polished and kept free of dust or grime that could come from daily interactions. High on the walls, near the ceiling are carvings of the hawk in silent flight or the stampeding bull. The designs make their way around the entire border, lending to the establishment’s name. A C-shaped bar sits against the back wall with cushioned stools lining the entire length.

A hearth is located on against the right wall, with a large marble mantle carved with six figures – a wildcat, a raven, a mongoose, a horse and rider, a bear and in the center, a rampaging bull. Freestanding tables dot the open the floor, about a dozen in total, some near the hearth. In colder weather, a fire roars there, but during the warmer months, it remains empty, or has decorative baskets lying inside. Hanging above the mantle is a banner of brown silk with a rampaging bull featured prominently. Flying overhead and just slightly smaller is the image of a striking hawk.

Lining both left and right walls are luxurious booths. Each of these booths is more of a cocoon of wooden warmth, lined by velvet cushions of a deep red. Instead of merely just a place to eat a meal and talk, the booths are literally carved from wood, with unique tables settled inbetween two high backed bench-liked structures that curve upwards to the ceiling. The outline of the two seats as they face each other is roughly oval shape, but each booth has its own small variation to create a uniqueness to each spot. To add to this uniqueness, designs have been painted on each of the wood frames, each depicting something different. Some are just flower designs, while others repeat the figures on display along the hearth’s mantle. Gauzy red curtains are tied back at each booth, easily released in case the diners prefer a more intimate experience.

On the left side of the bar is a door that leads into the kitchen, succulent smells drifting outwards at all times of the day from featured cuisines of many different cultures. To the right is a large staircase that leads to the second floor, the railing carved with a pattern of roses.

Electricity has very subtly been brought into play through the whole tavern and inn, soft and subtle lights hidden high in the ceiling.

There is a sign at the door: NO WEAPONS ALLOWED ON PREMISES WITHOUT PERMISSION OF OWNER. Anyone found in violation of this will be banned for life.


Maina shakes her head at Sharai, “I’m fine… I’ll see you later, okay?” And she slips the rest of the way out of the tavern.

Probably the standout detail about the tavern at this moment is the presence of not one but three or four kids, all identical and sitting in various parts of the room. Each version of Logic looks over toward the door as more people enter, smiling and waving in turn, “Hiiiiii.”

Bang! Two rowdy patrons slap through the outside door accompanied by what seems to be a richly ear piercing Waldheimer chant.

“Bier her, bier her, oder ich fall um!” Fritz sings, /mostly/ in tune and exceedingly enthusiastic, his arm slung around Dement’s shoulders in a drunken, brotherly fashion, “Soll das bier im keller liegen, und ich hier die ohnmacht kriegen?” Two white doves also seem to be following the pair.

Heidi blinks once as she hears her native tongue and looks over at the two that have just entered closely. The woman lifts a brow slightly before a small grin slips across her face. “Allo allo.” She waves in their direction.

All three or four versions of Logic look to each other then look to the singing man and the one in sequins and spandex and each head tilts to one side. They hold this pose for a moment and then a few extras blink off leaving just one – has to be some kind of trick. “I should come here more often. Organics can be SO interesting.” He then walks over to the pair and looks up at both with a big goofey childish grin. “Hiiii. I’m Logic Shortage.”

“Tell me about it.” a spherical hologram projects itself alongside Logic Shortage and smiley face circles around it’s equator before levelling a -_- expression at him. “It’s usually best to ignore him when he’s like this.”

“Bier her, bier her, oder ich fall um , junchhe! Bier her, bier her, oder ich fall um!” Fritz continues, Logic and Heidi ignored in favour of the greater importance of the drunken drinking march being sung, a passing pat aimed in the general direction of Logic’s head. He directs both he and Dement towards the bar, singing on, “Wenn ich nicht gleich bier bekumm, schmeib ich die ganze kneipe um!

Logic takes a step or so back when the spherical hologram appears then studies it with his head tilted. “Hiii. Who are you? What are you? Other then a hologram I mean. Are you just a ship AI or are you like me?” Since the drunk men are going to ignore him might as well talk to the other hologram, even if it is clearly more simplistic.

Heidi hmms for a moment and shakes her head. “Mein gott.” She murmurs as she glances over at the two men for a moment and shrugs. The tall woman considers things for a moment before downing the rest of her beer and edges closer to the door.

“Bier her! Bier herrrr, oder ich fall um!” Dement fits that into the right parts this time, allowing himself to be guided towards the bar (it’s likely he has no real directive ability at the moment) and immediately orders as much alchol as he can slur out while still singing, “Wenn ich nicht – VODKA! – gleich – SHOTS! – bekumm, FOUR BEERS, ich dieganzekneipeum!” He throws down some credit chits and half a chocolate biscuit which seems to have melted a little in his… wait, this outfit does not have pockets?!

“I am Speeder. I am an AI system housed on board the Teamhair. What are you?” /:o

Wherever those credit chips and half-melted biscuit seem to have come from, Fritz isn’t paying it any mind, another handful of credit-chips being slammed upon the counter, “Nein nein!” He corrects, “Nicht nur four beers! Four beers im das boot! Sie haben noch keinen das boot?! Und vhisky ebenso! -SHOTS!-”

“Shots!” cries Dement in a lazy tone.

“Oh! So not like me. I /am/ the IND Logic Shortage.” Logic says with a proud tone and stands up ‘big and tall’ just like one might expect a kid to. “I’m a … well we’re called Positronics.”

Speeder’s smiley face turns upside down as his cyan frame shimmers and adjusts itself, “Oh, a magic consciousness machine? How good for you.” He replies a little tartly, with a ; “Some of us don’t /need/ brains.”

Heidi is creeping towards the door while two drunk Waldheimers try to get even more drunk and Logic and an AI chat.

Evidently the bartender does /not/ speak German from the way he’s staring at the pair, but he understands vodka, beer, whisky and shots which is more than enough to get the gist of what the pair want. A bottle each of whisky and vodka are set on the counter alongside two shot glasses, and next follows four full pint glasses of a dark looking brew with a creamy head and all the while Fritz goes back to singing, “Bier her, bier her!”

Those white doves, nigh forgotten, flutter down to alight upon the counter to Dement’s left. Coo, coo.

While Dement and Fritz are enthusiastically drunk and from the looks of their order planing on getting even /more/ drunk at the bar, Logic and a spherical AI are chatting it up a short distance away.

Logic gives Speeder – the AI – a clearly amused grin then flings his arms around the spherical hologram and gives it a huge hug. “Hey, that’s ok. It’s fine if you’re different. We can still be friends… if you want I mean…” He says then steps back again. Kids… really. Apparently the non organic kind aren’t much different.

Sharai Dravik returns from the restroom and looks around, seeing Heidi on her way out she moves over to her, “Hey, did Maina leave while I was in there?”

Heidi glances over at the woman and nods her head slightly. “Ja, she slipped out a while ago.” The woman says before smiling. “For a while I thought you were lost in there.” She nods towards the lady’s room.

Dement sings, or uh, -wails- further, snatching one of the beers when it’s offered and drinking a couple of fingers worth before his vodka shot comes out and he grabs it, holding it over his drink, “Galweri modesa – nein, uh…” he squints a little, saying something a little quieter, “Franz jagt im komplett verwahrlosten. Taxi quer durch Bayern. Da. Hm.” And he drops the vodka in the beer. Oh dear.

“EW POSITRONICOOTIES!” the AI sphere bzzts and flashes red, “NOT COOL NOT COOL NOT COOL. This unit will self destruct in 5… 3… 6… 2… 51… 12… 1… 0…”


“Hmm. That’s odd.”
'bang' is displayed on the screen, followed by x_x

Like peas in a pod, at nearly the same moment Fritz is guzzling down several fingers from one of the beers, the glass set back down a little heavily and sloshing some of that dark brew over the counter. He bursts into laughter at what Dement’s saying before dropping his shot of whisky into his own beer. Once more it’s raised, though this time towards Dement so that they can rousingly cheer before drinking more, “Um ihnen feine Herr!”

Logic just laughs, one of those very amused childish chuckles at the ‘display’ from Speeder. Does he step back, hell no! Why wory about something potentially exploding when you can just reform given a little time. He does, however let the spherical hologram go. “You’re funny!”

Sharai Dravik chuckles slightly and shakes her head, “Not at all, just checked my messages after and sent some advice to some detectives is all. Did you want to go somewhere?”

Heidi thinks for a moment and shrugs her shoulders. “Anything you want.” The Waldheimer replies with a small smile.

Logic stares at Speeder for a good minute then looks up and ‘off into the distance’. “Ooooo! A blue COMET!” He focuses back on the room. “Byeeeeeee!” He says with an exuberant wave and just like that he blinks off.

“Well, that’s that then.” the spherical AI hologram mutters in a ‘bah, humbug’ tone before flashing off himself. Bzzt!

Dement murmurs something as he drinks his beer, glancing back across the tavern at the patrons. “Var ist zie hot, hot ladies?” he curses, “Door!” he cries, hand juttering a little and spilling his drink across his wrist, “HEY LADIES!” he cries, “Keine Elephanten in der Bar nach 8 Uhr!”

“Zie ladiiiiiiiies.” Fritz echoes enthusiastically moments before taking a deep draught of beer und whisky, and setting it down after. Gesturing in such a manner to simulate bouncing some big ol’ titties, he adds, “Vi are needing zie grobe bruste!”

Sharai Dravik stares at the two drunken men and shakes her head, “And that is what my brothers were trying to protect me from I think.” smiling to Heidi she says, “Gardens sound good to you? Or beach?”

Heidi glances over at the two drunk mean and lifts a brow slowly. “Nein, das ist mein Midchen” She says with a hrumph, turns and attempts to dip smooch Sharai.

“WOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Dement hollers in response to dip smooching women.

Fritz joins in the cheering as he turns to get a better look at the lady on lady action, hands clapping in encouragement, “WOOOOOOOOOO!!”

Sharai Dravik lets Heidi dip smooch her, half because she is surprised and half cause she likes the lady kissies.

Heidi rights Sharai after a moment and rolls her eyes. “Simple creatures ja?” She smirks before gesturing the woman out, a finger waggle is offered over at Fritz and Dement.

Dement pulls a puppy-dog face, leaning back against the bar and taking a sip from his beer-vodka with a mopey slouch.

“Ech.” Fritz murmurs, pulling a face at Heidi, his eyes for Sharai more than the Waldheimer woman. Leaning back with far less slouching than Dement, her reaches back to retrieve his beer/whisky and pulls it into his lap, half rested against his stomach.

Sharai Dravik is a little out of it, “Wow, can we do that again?” shaking her head she smiles and looks over to the two men.

“Hmmm..” Heidi murmurs as eyes Sharai. The woman frowns for a moment before she sighs. Smoochies the sequel it seems. The Waldheimer woman then stands back and eyes Sharai. “Gut?”

Dement doesn’t seem to be doing much, in fact his eyes are lulling downwards. “Ver… ist…” Wakey wakey! “ZE FERRY!” He declares, out of nowhere, before downing his dirty pint and sitting it back on the bar. “WE MUST GO BACK, DAS IST THE SPIEL!”

“Ja!” Fritz replies, downing the rest of his own rather dirty beer a bit sloppily before something occurs to him, “Erasistophiles, Herophilus!” He calls to his birds, looking around a moment in a bit of a panic before his beady, out of focus eyes spot them, just chillin on the counter. He sets his glass down then reaches out to gather up the birds, hat removed for a moment and the pair settled on his head, “Zere, zere. Vi vill be safe. Ja.” A nod follows, “Ja! Ze ferry! Lass un gehen freund!” His hat is settled over-top the doves, who don’t seem to mind /too/ much. … Cooo?

Sharai Dravik has a rather silly smile after the second kiss, “Uh huh.”

“Gut gut.. so where now?” Heidi asks as she tries not to look back at the man in spandex and his buddy.

“DANKE BARKELLNER! Buh…” Dement gives the man serving them a little wave and a blown kiss before taking his second beer, resisted or not, and making for the exit as quick as possible, “QUICK, MEIN FREUND, WIR MUSSEN FLIEHEN! LAUF UM DEIN BIER!” His retreat is wobbly, careless and super-shiny-sequened.

Without a second thought Fritz too snatches his second beer – after all, he needs a drink for the trip over to the ferry! “LAUUUUUUUFEEEEEEN!” A quick, sloppy salute is thrown to the bartender as he, as quickly as he can drunkenly make way, follows in Dement’s wake headed towards their next destination.