GRAND ENAJ, SIVAD – Authorities on Sivad confirmed today that hackers broke into the servers for the Bright Horizons genetic lab and stole DNA data for millions of patients, including wealthy private citizens, politicians, and celebrities.

The stolen data also identifies any augmentations made to the genetic structure of the compromised individuals, ranging from limb repair to disease deterrent to cosmetic enhancements.

No word yet on how the hackers managed to bypass at least a dozen complicated firewalls, but officials aren’t ruling out inside assistance for the incident.