NEW YORK, EARTH – Billions of users on Saturday night transmitted theories in contemplation of the message from the Pinnacle.

Thorough analysis by the supercomputers that make up the so-called “Oraculars” indicates that the majority of Consortium inhabitants believe that the “they” that are coming are felinoid aliens with foul tempers who are bent on conquering humanity, dressing us in funny costumes, and displaying images of us on their equivalent of the Infomatrix.

“It’s almost enough to make me vaccinate my children,” said a user identified as Piquant7524. “Spoil them as slaves for the furry masters.”

By Brody

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