CAPE CANAVERAL, EARTH – Bob Busby, CEO of Spark and leader of a private-sector effort to accomplish faster-than-light travel, doesn’t believe the “rabid cat-people” theory dominating today’s conjecture-vids.

“It’s way too soon to draw any conclusions about this message, man,” he said. “The only valid conclusion we can make right now is that the Pinnacle sent a message a decade ago, man. That’s it. Straight up, man. We don’t know why, man. We don’t have any context. Far as I know, no one’s unpacked any telemetry data. All we got is three words and a lot of questions, but no way in hell do I think the answers have anything to do with space cats trying to enslave us. Personally, I think the Earth cats that already own us might have something to say about it, anyway, man.”