CAPE CANAVERAL, FLORIDA – Sources in the scientific laboratories at Cape Canaveral at this hour say the base is under lockdown due to what appears to be the release of a virulent contagion.

Early reports suggest that this was an intentional act, carried out by a Texan sympathizer in the name of Lexington Clay, a teen shot by a Vanguard soldier this month.

Details about the contagion have not been disclosed.